Traditionally, when a death occurs, the family, spouse, partner or friends of the person who has died make the funeral arrangements. What kind of funeral they have, what happens during the ceremony, what is said, what music is played, what the person is wearing, what kind of coffin they have, are usually all decided by those making the arrangements. A lot of decisions to make, and many questions wondering if those decisions would be what the person wanted. Why not plan your own funeral to take this task away from those grieving?
Talk About Your Funeral Choices
Have you had ‘that conversation’ with loved ones about what you want to happen at your funeral? Has that conversation only been about your preferences for cremation or burial, or has it been more detailed about the ceremony or service you would like?
Talking about our funeral choices isn’t morbid, it is practical as sadly we are all guaranteed to die. Many people do not want to talk about funerals as they do not want to think about life without their loved ones. If your people aren’t willing to take about funeral plans, how will they know what you would like if they had to arrange your funeral?
If you feel unable to talk about your wishes, have you considered writing them down and informing your family where that information can be found?
Plan Your Own Funeral
If you could arrange your own funeral, (which you can), would you decide to have a traditional funeral service with prayers, hymns, Bible readings, everyone dressed in black, or a celebration of your life with light hearted memories shared, music you liked, and guests in non-formal funeral attire?
If you decide to plan your own funeral, you will be given advice on any restrictions and what isn’t allowed. This can include clothing choices you might make, or finding out you cannot be cremated with your mobile phone in your coffin, nor have favourite items in it if you would like a natural, green or woodland burial.
Making those choices yourself, takes this pressure away from your loved ones, leaving those you love and care about to grieve without the additional emotional pressure of having to make funeral choices on your behalf. It is also brings your personality and likes into the ceremony; helping those in attendance to say goodbye.
Write Your Own Funeral
As a funeral celebrant who has created and led hundreds of unique funerals and celebrations of life ceremonies, I can help you to write your own funeral ceremony, or together we can write it. You can choose the ceremony content, decide on the ceremony style, choose poems or readings, or include information you would like said.
Having these decisions set out in advance can relieve some of the pressure on those closest to you; giving them reassurance and guidance at a difficult time, while helping to create a farewell that truly feels like you.
Sutton Funeral Planning
I founded Sutton Funeral Planning to offer independent funeral planning to those who want to take the pressure away from their families, or for those who want to plan their final send off in a way which is unique to them. This isn’t a funeral plan like funeral directors sell, this is you making choices to pass on to your family when they need the information. Unlike funeral plans sold by funeral directors and insurance companies, a one off payment which won’t require topping up as funeral plans so often do is all the financial costs which are involved.
My role as a Funeral Planner is to make that process simpler, clearer, and personal to you. Giving you information on what you can do and include, and to give you the support and guidance to help you make the right decisions for you and your family.
Together, we can take the time to think about what feels right for you. Burial or cremation, traditionally religious, life centred led by a funeral celebrant, choosing the venue, deciding what you would like included in the ceremony, selecting the funeral director you would prefer to work with, and much more.
With over 14 years of experience in the funeral profession, as a Funeral Director, Funeral Celebrant, and Certified Grief Coach, I understand both the practical and emotional sides of saying goodbye.
I work independently, which means my focus is entirely on you. I can help you explore your options, connect you with trusted professionals, funeral directors, florists, celebrants, and venues that match your beliefs and values to shape a funeral that truly reflects the life being honoured.
Arranging Your Own Funeral
Arranging your own funeral is different to planning your own funeral. A plan is what we would like to happen when the time comes, making the arrangements is booking those who will be involved. This usually happens when people are nearing the end of their lives. In this sad situation, families can be even more reluctant to be involved in conversations about funerals, or funeral arranging.
As a Freelance Funeral Director and a Funeral Celebrant, I rarely have the privilege of meeting those people I am caring for or creating a ceremony for. In my role as a Funeral Planner, I sometimes meet those people before I am their Funeral Director or the Funeral Celebrant leading a ceremony for about them.
Times have changed, as have many people’s attitudes towards dying and death. For those who want to arrange their own funeral, and who want to make choices on what is to be included such as coffins, flowers, donations and funeral types, this service is available.
Every person is unique, and their funeral ceremony should be too. Whether you want to have a simple ceremony, a traditional funeral service, a completely bespoke celebration of life, or you decide to have a direct cremation and want to plan a memorial ceremony for after this has happened, you can plan for it.
What matters is that it feels right for you, the person who it is about, and it is right for those it is for; your loved ones, friends, work colleagues and all who know you. Funerals are for the living to honour those who have died, but they should be about that person, and every one of us is an individual.
For further information about how to plan your own funeral, or funeral planning fees, please get in touch.